As a girl steps into puberty, apart from all the changes going on in her body and mind, the most intriguing thing she finds is a ‘BOY’. She wants to know more about them, she wants to understand them, and she wants to know about what they think about a ‘girl’, or to be precise, what a guy thinks about ‘her’. Same is the case with boys! A boy also wonders ‘what’ a girl is, and mostly, they end up spending their entire life in trying to understand the ‘not-so’ complicated species of ‘GIRLS’. Instead of trying to understand, if you just try to make them smile and laugh, half of the problems will automatically vanish!

Attraction, Infatuation, Crush, Love, all the terms sound so familiar, right?

Attraction is the first step of friendship, (don’t take me in a wrong way!). Your friends, the group you hang out with today, you like them, you think they’re fun to be with, they are funny and you simply enjoy with them, but the question is ‘why’? Because, you, in one or the other way, are ‘attracted’ to them. A girl may find another girl beautiful, and even a guy can find another guy smart, there’s nothing wrong in it. Human mind is designed to do the comparisons, and so we do it!

Infatuation is what happens next, we like someone in ‘that’ way, is termed as infatuation or crush! We want to hang out with a particular person, we want him/her to talk to only us and not someone else. Possessiveness starts pouring in, that stage is infatuation. If you are having a crush at someone, that doesn’t necessarily means you ‘love’ them or you want to be in a relationship with them.

Love, is a strong emotion, which is truly felt by very few people. Most of them ‘claim’ to be in love, but actually, they’re not! Love happens when you are attracted to someone, when you have a crush at someone, when you care for someone, when you feel the possessiveness and jealousy if he/she is with someone else. All these feelings combined, generate the feeling called ‘LOVE’. Love is something that generates within us the ‘will’ to stay with that one particular person, forever! When we are ready to be in a relationship with him/her, that is Love. In Love, a person is very serious about the relationship, and about his better half, and if love is true, everyone thinks about a long term commitment, or what we say ‘Marriage’.

There are many people who nowadays have made a joke of love and relationships, they just use the person for entertainment and then ditch him/her for someone else. If you’re truly feeling the so-called love for someone, even the mere thought of leaving that person or going for another one, never comes in mind, let alone doing all this. Love is not only what we feel in a sexual way for the other person, but the purest form of love is what we have for our parents and siblings and friends. We cannot tolerate them crying, can we? We can never see them sad, or tensed. We ourselves feel pain if something happens to anyone we love. If we have such pure emotions for our parents, then why can’t a pure love exist for another person? Why people ditch and leave and break-up?

Every relationship has problems, life is not a bed of roses, and everyone feels disheartened at some point of time, but, is breakup the only solution? If you have some family-problem, can you leave your family for that? Then why breakups?

Breakup is something that can leave a scar on a person’s heart, and a wound that cannot be healed easily. In my opinion, a relationship should start with terms and conditions and some promises, one should be very clear about his intentions before coming into a relationship. He/she should clearly mention to the other person whether he wants a serious relationship, or just time-pass. Whether he wants a long term commitment, or multiple dating? If such things are discussed before, half of the problem sorts out!

The most common reason of breakup is: ‘Infidelity’ or ‘Cheating’. People say that their partner wasn’t loyal, so they broke up! Ever wondered ‘why’ wasn’t he/she ‘loyal’? That’s because he/she simply, ‘wasn’t’ in a serious relationship. When a person has it in mind that he’s serious for his partner, he can never even think of ‘cheating’ on him! People ditch, cheat and go for other people, only because their mind-set is programmed that way! I don’t say the people who cheat are wrong or at fault. It’s their own mentality that they want multiple relationships, or they just can’t stay with one person, or they get bored too easily. It’s their own mind-set and their own thinking that provokes them to ‘cheat’. If he/she is clear in the beginning only that he’s not going for a serious relationship, the cheating would simply ‘not’ happen. Instead, a calm mutual breakup will ensure a peace of mind to both!

The second most common reason is ‘Lack of Attention’. People usually complain that their partner has no time for them or the relationship. He has become boring or unromantic and he doesn’t sing songs of praises anymore, and all other silly reasons! First, a ‘breakup’ is a big decision that shouldn’t be taken because of these silly issues. You should give some time to your partner and try to understand his position or state of mind, and try to figure out ‘why’ he is incapable of giving you time, rather than arguing and bitching about it! Most of the time, girls do that (sorry! But I’m unbiased). And the boys, please give some time to your girl, doesn’t matters if you are in a relationship since a month or a year or ten years! If you don’t give time, the relationship will die out, and it’s you who has to make it work not someone else, because it’s your relationship in the end. Take some time out of your busy schedule, and do something for your partner, make her smile, make her day, do something that makes her feel special, bring that old spark back that brought you together in the first place!

The other common issues includes: Jealousy, Possessiveness and Insecurity. What if your partner hangs out with other people or his friends? Does it matters if he’s giving proper time to you and your relationship? Hanging out with friends, going out for movies, is not wrong if your partner is true to you! If he/she tells you everything, then you should not be worried. Try to keep the relationship as transparent as possible. If you’ll show to your partner that you don’t have problem if he hangs out with his friends, then he’ll never hide anything from you. But if you’ll put restrictions, and you’ll complain, then he’ll start lying, which is not good for a relationship! Be clear and truthful with your partner, and many of the issues won’t just build up!

If you can express yourself well, then expect your relationship to be better than a million! Because mostly breakups happen, because of lack of expression and communication.

Stay truthful, stay clear, be honest, and you’ll enjoy your relationship even more than before! One life. . .