alejandra-quiroz-658

2012

It was a peaceful Sunday morning that a good friend of mine, called me up, only to deliver a not-so-good news about his girlfriend, who decided in a fortnight that she couldn’t handle the relationship anymore. He was devastated. Tired to be honest. Tired of explaining her how he would do something in life after all. We all do, isn’t it? They say if you’re born poor, it’s not your mistake, but if you die poor, it’s your fault. He was sticking on to that notion quite faithfully. Having born into a middle class family, and dating a middle class girl weren’t the only ingredients to a beautiful life. It was the day he was introduced that money, can be more important than relationships. She eventually left him. Left him for someone richer than him, and started dating a guy who owned an Audi. More-so, a guy who’s father owned an Audi, because let’s be honest here, no 22 years old regular, college drop-out guy can earn an Audi by himself in the remote corners of Punjab. That was his story. But it didn’t end here, the best was yet to come.

2015 – First Half

Another friend of mine, this time a female, meets me at a birthday party of our mutual friend. She tells me how she is ‘suddenly’ feeling suffocated in her relationship. When I asked her ‘why?’, she referred to other women enjoying the perks of dating rich guys. I didn’t get my answer yet. I again pressed her, asked ‘why? Why was she feeling suffocated if other women were enjoying?’ She didn’t know what to say. ‘I think I’m done with him…’ – the exact same words were repeated, just as they say history repeats itself, but it was fairly early for his breakup to be a history. How many years had passed down so far? Only three. This was disappointing. The way our society was thinking. The way they were going down. She continued her story and eventually decided herself that she cannot be with her boyfriend who couldn’t afford to spoil her with Prada and LV goodies. I said ‘Good Luck’, because you really cannot make anyone understand anything unless they don’t want to. A week later she had also found an Audi-owner, this time a 26 years old guy who was settled in his father’s business (of course), and enjoying a lavish life. I congratulated her but didn’t ask her how her ex-boyfriend was. Miserable was the answer, and I knew it very well. How else were you supposed to feel when you were ditched and dumped for no mistake of yours? Miserable. Utterly miserable.

Two of my close friends, but two different perspectives. Call it a co-incidence or anything, but in both the cases they were the women who broke up for money, and not the men. And if the same men had asked for dowry, I don’t know what hell would’ve fallen upon them! I didn’t pay attention to either of their lives or future, as I was busy with my own. I stopped contacting them anymore. The 2015-girl because she was enjoying way too much with her rich guy – good for her, and 2012-guy because he was way to busy to make his dreams come true. I was happy for both of them. The girl because she was a good friend of mine and she was happy with the rich guy. For the guy I was happier, because he had moved on very well after 6 months of constant depression and Xanax-nights, he was finally working hard, toiling day and night for his success, and he did find it one day.

2015 – Second Half

The guy calls me up. The one who broke up in 2012. We catch up and he breaks the big news to me – he had secured admission in USA’s one of the most prestigious colleges. He finally got the scholarship to pursue his studies too, and was joining next autumn. We celebrated for hours, and he couldn’t stop telling me about how excited he was for his new life. After sometime, he mentioned his ex. The girl who left him in 2012 because she didn’t find him rich enough – she happened to contact him. He told me she called him up as she got to know about his USA-admission, and surprisingly she tried to woo him to take her back. This was shocking. First, she breaks up, and then she begs him to take her back. Wasn’t her Audi-guy good enough now? Turned out the guy she was dating, was illiterate. 12th Pass, never went to college, didn’t know what to speak and how to speak, and dominated her like hell. She was trapped in the toxic relationship and was begging for mercy, from the guy she kicked aside three years back because he wasn’t rich enough.

I was curious to know what happened next? He continued the story, he said to her, ‘It took me a long time to be where I am, and you are the one who motivated me to be here. Thanks for leaving me. But please don’t come back in my life again, because since the day you left, it’s become even more beautiful. The guy you think was worthless, has a value today, only because you kicked him to make him strong enough. Thanks, but no thanks…’

This was complete savage! I didn’t believe for a second that he actually said all this, but he nodded in approval. The guy had some guts. We celebrated more over the fact that finally he gave himself a closure over that meaningless relationship. He went to USA in April 2016, and hasn’t been in touch since, but I can surely say that he’s having the time of his life. Good for him! (If you are reading this, I’m happy for you!)

2017 – January

My friend calls me up to tell me that soon she is getting married to the rich man, for whom she left her boyfriend in 2015. Great news, I said! She didn’t sound much happy though. On asking she confessed that she felt bad for breaking up with her ex for money. In the two years she spent with her current boyfriend, she saw a lot of money only to understand that it wasn’t as important after-all to kill the emotions of a person. She understood how it would’ve felt, and how horrible it would have been to him at that point. She continued saying that if some woman does the same to her son in future – she might not be able to take it. She wanted a closure before marriage, but she was scared enough to call him. I told her not to. That would mean intentionally adding a baggage to the new life she was stepping into. I don’t know whether or not she called him for a closure, but all I know is that you realize. Everyone does.

At some point, you will feel guilty of what you did. The day you will realize the pain you inflicted upon someone who loved you, is the day you will realize the intensity of the crime you committed, but that day you might not get a chance to apologize or even feel sorry – that’s how cruel it can be at times.

Money or Relationships – it’s a big debate. I never advocate or support or even think that leaving a human being for money is justifiable in any case. If the girl and girl’s parents can shrink the guy to numbers (salary, savings and bank balance), then the men should also feel free to openly demand dowry. Ask for cars and houses, ask for fixed deposits because if it is going to be a monetary deal, let it be from both sides. If marriage is no more the union of souls or togetherness of a couple, then let it be a business-deal with equal participants on both sides. Why should a guy be rich enough but the girl or her parents give nothing in return? If you expect him to spend on your daughter in future, give him some security in present. If you expect him to spoil your daughter with branded luxuries, at least give him a luxury car like an Audi Q7 or maybe a Mercedes S-Class? Oh, you don’t have that much money? Then why do you seek men who have it if you can’t match their level of financial stability?

shahrukh-khan-and-gauri-khan-nice-look-still

Money – still can be earned. But a person lost, can never be brought back no matter how rich you become in future. If you have a beautiful relationship – please focus on working together and becoming rich together. We have beautiful examples in our society – examples of couples who made it big together. From Sudha Murthy and Narayan Murthy (founder of Infosys), to Shah Rukh Khan and Gauri Khan (Bollywood stars), from Victoria Beckham and David Beckham (fashion designer and footballer) to Barrack and Michelle Obama (former USA President and First Lady) and many power couples who were dirt poor and absolutely nothing before their marriages, but rose to name and fame together, because they loved each other too much to let anyone go.

Right now – it’s too quick to decide whether you should leave him or not. Wait, give him time, give him your support and I bet he will never fail you. If you truly love each other, any reason to split apart is too small and too puny to be considered for a separation. Because you have several reasons to build a beautiful, happy life together. No money can buy you the comfort of sleep in each other’s arms, and no money can give you the satisfaction that a tight, warm hug provides. Understand your priorities before it is too late. You’ve got only one life after all, don’t take actions after which you are ashamed to even face yourself…





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  Comments (15)

  • Dinesh

    May 7, 2017

    Hi same happened with me my gf of 3 yrs left me for a guy Who was rich (fathers money he dont even do a job). I couldn’t understand when my gf said she dont love me anymore and shouldn’t try to contact her in any way this she said when she got this guy proposal .i tjought she may b angry bcoz we were having fights abt marriage ,then i begged her literally for days months bt what i received was harsh words which cut my heart out words of being selfiah,poor,education family as like i was a guy who’s life was worthless.for months i m caught in this vicious cycle .bt the blog explains well .there are selfiah people who just dont care if u love them or not .

  • Keyur Shah

    May 7, 2017

    Really nice story!

    I think It is very difficult for any girl or her parents to understand this.

  • KPS

    May 9, 2017

    I do not know a woman like you who exists. (In 36 years of my existence)

    I managed to stay single till 23 years of my life. Then came a girl 17 years old and ostensibly innocent like Kareena from Jab We Met or Janelia from Bommarillu. A girl cunning enough to know that shamming innocence gets you perks and attention. I was with her for 10 months before she told me that she loves me. She told me she likes children more than me and she wants 6 children from me.I could not say no to such “innocent” love. She was with me for another 1 years and 4 months before she told me that her best friend(read brother) in college counselled her that because her family is conservative she should not be in a relationship of love. She just left me.

    I moved on. She was just to gullible as I felt for me to manipulate. She came back to me in another 8 months telling me that her “brother” wanted her love. She wanted marriage and 6 kids again. I fell for the innocence of it again.

    I switched my job from Delhi to Hyd to earn more in another 4 months pressurized to earn more for marriage. She stopped talking to me within 3 months of I moving to Hyd. She never broke up formally. After six months of not responding she called me to tell me that I should leave her as she is a bad girl. She was seeing another guy who was her neighbor.

    I moved on again. I had never even put a finger on her body. In these 3 years I just waited a virgin for that innocent girl to mature in a woman to understand my romance for her.

    Another 6 months and she was back naked and bare, only to tell me that she has been sleeping with his neighbour guy and she is not a virgin. The guy is just using her for her body.

    I was broken and wanted to save her, she left him only when she made me promise I will never leave her even after knowing what she has done.

    She was with me again. I was happy to have rescued my love. But it came with a slow price to pay. I listened to her how that guy made her do blowjobs, how when she had fever once he did anal sex on her. How her legs hurt after her first time. How she never was wet with him after a few months when she realized he wanted only sex. I had no clue what wet meant. I used to be her white knight when with her but I know I cried a zillion tears whenever alone.

    She started blaming it on me that I should have had sex with her if I had loved her so much. Now she wanted me to make “love” to her. She pressurized me in to sleeping with her but I just could not. Sex was the last thing on my mind. A 27 year old man stopped watching porn because it brought tears in his eyes. In 3 years I never masturbated. I was literally a priest but devoid of his faith.

    Then came more blames. That I don’t value her just because she made a mistake. I did everything to make her happy. Even stopped talking to my best girl pals. I did everything for that nagging to stop. I wanted to end her insecurities even if I had to sell my soul.

    It was another 3 years with her and I made her meet my mother for my mom’s consent for our marriage. She tried seducing me while mother slept in another room. She wanted sex again while my mom slept in another room. That night I had my first kiss at 30 years of age. I told her that I will love her once we marry.

    I lost my job in another 4 months. Satyam had failed just before she agreed to tell her mother and father about us. I was jobless in deep recession.

    In another 2 months, her family got a proposal from a guy in Singapore whose family had crores of land on some highway in India.

    Things changed, sooner than I could react. She said it is hard for her to convince her family now, that they have a better proposal than me. She called me a beggar as compared to that Singapore match. She told me that I am invirile. She told me woman has needs and that I worse that her ex boyfriend. He called me hizda.

    She wanted a fight to justify leaving me. I took me 3 months of nagging to finally give in. I decided that I give her a fight she wanted to make it easy for her to leave me. She had it and left me in a day.

    I was a virgin who hated sex at 31. A man just not man enough. I cried after she left me for days. I called her again and again to beg for marrying me. She changed her numbers and threatened to report me to police.

    I knew she was gone.

    The Singapore guy did not marry her. Broke the engagement for dowry. She ultimately married a spa manager from Mumbai.

  • KPS

    May 9, 2017

    I have never told this to anyone. The graphic parts are something I don’t even want to remember. I have seen better women since.

    I called a call girl to rid me of the burden of virginity in 30s. I could not do it with her. I cried in her arms. I still remember her words. She said that I should forget whoever “she” is. That we are similar people. Her ex boyfriend got her to Hyd to get her trapped in a racket where she gets in bed with strangers and my ex girlfriend got me in a bed with a stranger.

    She had me sleep in her arms for rest of the night and left before dusk without taking the rest of the money. I was just too drunk.

    If she was a whore I am proud to be not man enough. God bless her and protect her from evil.

    She fixed something broken for years in just one night.

    • SS

      July 7, 2017

      I don’t know whether my words will ever be able to mend what’s broken inside you. God Bless you Sir! Although I’m 18, but I can understand the intensity and maturity of love and feelings you had for her. She was an immature, naive girl. Idk what to say! But your story made me cry. Is this how true love supposed to end? If she had to leave then why did she ever come to your life? Is this a joke to play with someone’s feelings and life? May God give you strength. And The best is yet to come, because it’s never too late to get what you deserve. All the best for your life.

      • Mehek

        July 8, 2017

        Thanks!

  • Pruthvi

    May 23, 2017

    nice story…………..

  • Nilesh

    June 6, 2017

    Brilliant piece and nice story.

    • Mehek

      June 13, 2017

      Thank you so much! 🙂

  • santha

    July 3, 2017

    Well written! Impressive!

    • Mehek

      July 5, 2017

      Thanks! 🙂

  • Faisal (your fan from Pakistan)

    July 11, 2017

    WoW. It’s amazing. You wrote truth.
    Keep writing.
    Thanks!

    • Mehek

      July 14, 2017

      Thanks Faisal! 🙂

  • Abhinav

    September 3, 2017

    Keep up the good work mate !
    You have a really beautiful way with words !!😁

    • Mehek

      September 4, 2017

      Thanks! 🙂