So many people nowadays are moving in to LDRs, what we call – Long Distance Relationships. But the most common question raised is – will it be worth it?
Long Distance Relationships are the result of advancement of technology and easy availability of gadgets to everyone. We all have personal mobile phones, Facebook and WhatsApp accounts, Skype, webcams, and everything else which can make sure that we remain closer to the person we love. No doubt, some couples still live in twilight era and relive that old time by writing each other scented letters and perfumed messages, but most of us prefer quicker ways and WhatsApp takes the cake!
The most important element to ensure the success of a LDR is – TRUST and PATIENCE – You need to trust your partner and be patient enough for your other half to reply to you. He can’t be free all the time. You don’t live with him, so you can’t understand his situation. He has told you every minute of his routine, that’s fantastic! But, sometimes there occurs an emergency and he maybe unavailable for which you need to be patient and calm, instead of hiking up your blood-pressure and venting out your anger on him. More than being patient, you need to trust him. You can’t keep banging your head against the wall if his phone is busy, or he’s online on WhatsApp and not replying to you. There can be some other issue which he might be caught in, so try to understand and avoid unnecessary fights!
Second most important thing is – COMMUNICATION – You need to remain in touch with him as much as possible! I’m not saying that you should be on phone 24/7 and suffocate his personal life, but try to talk to him once in a day. Talk more about his routine and ask him about his day, don’t burden him with your problems all the time. It’s important that couples should share everything for a transparent relationship, but sharing certain problems which he can’t solve being far away, is a useless thing. He would rather be tensed and worried than doing anything for you. Tell him about your routine, your life, do share your problems but along with the solutions that you’ve thought for them. He will respect you and take you for a mature, independent lady. Don’t ask him to come over for little issues. It may be tough for him to catch a train or flight or bus on such a short notice. Understand that he’s also missing you and he also craves to be with you, seeing you in problem doesn’t amuse him, so don’t burden him unnecessarily. If his presence is too important, tell him and give him some time to arrange everything, don’t piss him off by saying – I need you right now, RIGHT NOW! Physically, it’s not possible, sweetie!
Thirdly, you need to give him FREEDOM and SPACE, don’t spy on him and don’t ask him for each and every detail, it will piss him off. He is also in a relationship with you, so give him some time, and he will make everything clear to you himself. You don’t need to ask him about his female friends or the people he hangs out with, he will share every detail himself, if he’s truly in love with you. If you trust him, trust him fully, don’t think he’s cheating on you! Many problems are created by the ‘thought’ of being cheated, than actual cheating itself, so avoid ‘thinking’ about such things when in a LDR.
Fourthly, avoid calling him unnecessarily. There are girls who would prefer to stick to the phone every second of the day. Telecom companies have introduced cheap calling schemes for you, but don’t overuse them! When such relationships end because of suffocation and no privacy, the same girls cry for they have ‘nothing’ to do! How do you expect yourself to live a normal life after a breakup, if all you did in the relationship was talk to him? It’s important that you utilize your time, and do something productive than sticking on phone. It’s important to have a personal life and a hobby which you can work upon when ‘not’ on phone with him. It’s good to remain in touch, but ask yourself, do you hang out with your friends/family? Do you have a social life? Do you have a hobby? If answer of all these questions is a NO, then you’re in a problematic relationship.
In a long distance relationship, it’s important to avoid fights. You can’t touch the person, you can’t hug him, you can’t kiss him, all you can do is, listen to his voice, or maximum, see him on screen if you’re on a video-call. We come into a relationship because we love the other person, his presence makes us happy, we come into a relationship for our own happiness! Now, if you’re not happy, how can you keep your better half happy? So, it’s important that you yourself remain calm and happy and stop worrying without any reason. Your partner is also away and he’s also feeling the pain. You should make him happy and keep the relationship so peaceful that he should look forward to calling you, or talking to you, instead of running away when your name pops up on his phone!
In a LDR, physical intimacy is negligible, especially when you’re miles away and can’t reach out to your love as often. Some people go without seeing each other for six months to one year, and they’re still happy. What is the secret behind their happiness? It’s simple – LOVE. They don’t let the candle of love blow away. They keep it burning with romantic discussions, dirty talks and sex. Yes! It’s important that you make your partner comfortable enough that you discuss everything over the phone. Phone sex is one popular and convenient method of generating closeness and intimacy in your relationship. It’s not awkward or stupid because almost every couple in LDR do that. The best thing about it is, you can never get pregnant! If you are living too far away, and you can’t meet every weekend or every month, then it’s important that you spare some time for romantic talks and phone sex. You will notice yourself that your relationship improved manifolds after a hot, steamy session! But I would suggest you to avoid being nude over the webcam or sending your nude-photos to your partner. Even if you trust him fully, avoid doing that because you can’t guarantee your wedding with him as yet. You’re the one who has to take precautionary measures for your safety!
It’s important to MEET ONCE IN A WHILE – Being in LDR isn’t a very fancy thing to wish for. It sucks when you really want to see your partner, but you can’t, or when you simply want to hug him for a few seconds, but you can’t! It drains you inside out. So, it’s important that you meet up once in a while and plan a romantic date. If it’s possible for you to catch-up after a few months, don’t miss a chance! However, if you live in different countries, and can’t meet up often, then you can plan video-call sessions. Ask him to bring over his dinner plate in front of the laptop, and you can enjoy a dinner together!
Lastly, there are some people who cheat on their partners in LDR, and some people who lie to their partners while being away. It’s your responsibility to know the person you’re dating. Always have a background check on the guy, before coming into a relationship and always know about his past before you think about settling down with him. Always remember that there are couples who are married today, and happy even after being into LDR for years, then why can’t you? It’s your relationship, and you’re the one who will be happy or depressed tomorrow because of it’s outcomes, so choose wisely and play safe!