So many people nowadays are moving in to LDRs, what we call – Long Distance Relationships. But the most common question raised is – will it be worth it?

Long Distance Relationships are the result of advancement of technology and easy availability of gadgets to everyone. We all have personal mobile phones, Facebook and WhatsApp accounts, Skype, webcams, and everything else which can make sure that we remain closer to the person we love. No doubt, some couples still live in twilight era and relive that old time by writing each other scented letters and perfumed messages, but most of us prefer quicker ways and WhatsApp takes the cake!

The most important element to ensure the success of a LDR is – TRUST and PATIENCE – You need to trust your partner and be patient enough for your other half to reply to you. He can’t be free all the time. You don’t live with him, so you can’t understand his situation. He has told you every minute of his routine, that’s fantastic! But, sometimes there occurs an emergency and he maybe unavailable for which you need to be patient and calm, instead of hiking up your blood-pressure and venting out your anger on him. More than being patient, you need to trust him. You can’t keep banging your head against the wall if his phone is busy, or he’s online on WhatsApp and not replying to you. There can be some other issue which he might be caught in, so try to understand and avoid unnecessary fights!

Second most important thing is – COMMUNICATION – You need to remain in touch with him as much as possible! I’m not saying that you should be on phone 24/7 and suffocate his personal life, but try to talk to him once in a day. Talk more about his routine and ask him about his day, don’t burden him with your problems all the time. It’s important that couples should share everything for a transparent relationship, but sharing certain problems which he can’t solve being far away, is a useless thing. He would rather be tensed and worried than doing anything for you. Tell him about your routine, your life, do share your problems but along with the solutions that you’ve thought for them. He will respect you and take you for a mature, independent lady. Don’t ask him to come over for little issues. It may be tough for him to catch a train or flight or bus on such a short notice. Understand that he’s also missing you and he also craves to be with you, seeing you in problem doesn’t amuse him, so don’t burden him unnecessarily. If his presence is too important, tell him and give him some time to arrange everything, don’t piss him off by saying – I need you right now, RIGHT NOW! Physically, it’s not possible, sweetie!

Thirdly, you need to give him FREEDOM and SPACE, don’t spy on him and don’t ask him for each and every detail, it will piss him off. He is also in a relationship with you, so give him some time, and he will make everything clear to you himself. You don’t need to ask him about his female friends or the people he hangs out with, he will share every detail himself, if he’s truly in love with you. If you trust him, trust him fully, don’t think he’s cheating on you! Many problems are created by the ‘thought’ of being cheated, than actual cheating itself, so avoid ‘thinking’ about such things when in a LDR.

Fourthly, avoid calling him unnecessarily. There are girls who would prefer to stick to the phone every second of the day. Telecom companies have introduced cheap calling schemes for you, but don’t overuse them! When such relationships end because of suffocation and no privacy, the same girls cry for they have ‘nothing’ to do! How do you expect yourself to live a normal life after a breakup, if all you did in the relationship was talk to him? It’s important that you utilize your time, and do something productive than sticking on phone. It’s important to have a personal life and a hobby which you can work upon when ‘not’ on phone with him. It’s good to remain in touch, but ask yourself, do you hang out with your friends/family? Do you have a social life? Do you have a hobby? If answer of all these questions is a NO, then you’re in a problematic relationship.

In a long distance relationship, it’s important to avoid fights. You can’t touch the person, you can’t hug him, you can’t kiss him, all you can do is, listen to his voice, or maximum, see him on screen if you’re on a video-call. We come into a relationship because we love the other person, his presence makes us happy, we come into a relationship for our own happiness! Now, if you’re not happy, how can you keep your better half happy? So, it’s important that you yourself remain calm and happy and stop worrying without any reason. Your partner is also away and he’s also feeling the pain. You should make him happy and keep the relationship so peaceful that he should look forward to calling you, or talking to you, instead of running away when your name pops up on his phone!

In a LDR, physical intimacy is negligible, especially when you’re miles away and can’t reach out to your love as often. Some people go without seeing each other for six months to one year, and they’re still happy. What is the secret behind their happiness? It’s simple – LOVE. They don’t let the candle of love blow away. They keep it burning with romantic discussions, dirty talks and sex. Yes! It’s important that you make your partner comfortable enough that you discuss everything over the phone. Phone sex is one popular and convenient method of generating closeness and intimacy in your relationship. It’s not awkward or stupid because almost every couple in LDR do that. The best thing about it is, you can never get pregnant! If you are living too far away, and you can’t meet every weekend or every month, then it’s important that you spare some time for romantic talks and phone sex. You will notice yourself that your relationship improved manifolds after a hot, steamy session! But I would suggest you to avoid being nude over the webcam or sending your nude-photos to your partner. Even if you trust him fully, avoid doing that because you can’t guarantee your wedding with him as yet. You’re the one who has to take precautionary measures for your safety!

It’s important to MEET ONCE IN A WHILE – Being in LDR isn’t a very fancy thing to wish for. It sucks when you really want to see your partner, but you can’t, or when you simply want to hug him for a few seconds, but you can’t! It drains you inside out. So, it’s important that you meet up once in a while and plan a romantic date. If it’s possible for you to catch-up after a few months, don’t miss a chance! However, if you live in different countries, and can’t meet up often, then you can plan video-call sessions. Ask him to bring over his dinner plate in front of the laptop, and you can enjoy a dinner together!

Lastly, there are some people who cheat on their partners in LDR, and some people who lie to their partners while being away. It’s your responsibility to know the person you’re dating. Always have a background check on the guy, before coming into a relationship and always know about his past before you think about settling down with him. Always remember that there are couples who are married today, and happy even after being into LDR for years, then why can’t you? It’s your relationship, and you’re the one who will be happy or depressed tomorrow because of it’s outcomes, so choose wisely and play safe!

 




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  Comments (31)

  • Ankit kulshrestha

    May 4, 2014

    very nice article… 🙂

    • Mehek

      May 4, 2014

      Thanks 🙂

  • gaurav bhatt

    May 4, 2014

    Nice and very much
    true

    • Mehek

      May 4, 2014

      Thanks 🙂

  • Jenot

    May 4, 2014

    It is just awsum…
    Im realy becomng ur fan Mehek…
    Ur words are always heart touching…

    • Mehek

      May 5, 2014

      Thanks dear 🙂

    • Mehek

      May 5, 2014

      Thank you dear 🙂

  • Harshita Srivastava

    May 4, 2014

    This is such a wonderful and well researched article. Loved reading each and every word.

    • Mehek

      May 5, 2014

      Thanks a lot Harshita 🙂

  • Varsha Mehrotra

    May 5, 2014

    Just Amazing..!!! love it..:) tum kahan thiii..;)

    • Mehek

      May 5, 2014

      Thanks Varsha 🙂 I was here only :p

  • Maya

    May 5, 2014

    I am in a LDR, and it felt so relatable reading through the article. And definitely some parts are perfectly described as to warn me from making mistakes. I’ve bookmarked it. :). Probably read it again in the high and lows of my LET., to consciously understand my guy and not make any mistakes.

    • Mehek

      May 5, 2014

      Thank you Maya, I hope your wait is worth it. Never lose hope 🙂 stay strong, god bless you!

  • Sharique Nadeem

    May 5, 2014

    Long-distance relationships don’t work most of the time. You have been workin on arduous & multifarious demesne. I hope you can tolerate the backwash but whatever you experience that would not be the ultimate. Still for your thirst you can proceed. Lemme focus on the awls & raiment of your application. Haha It is a game of sense, perception, imagination, mind, consciousness, working over the most acceptable Freudian Id as a psychic apparatus which one is the uncoordinated instinctual trend of emotion.
    Senses are physiological capacities; the primary gate of our senses is biology & chemistry. Perception is the sensory interpretation. Till today we have come across forty eight categories of emotions laid by ‘Id’ the locus. Entire emotional branches are comin from chemistry. Life is aggregation of occurrences including your ‘strangers’ existence. All the senses are accompanyin you ever since. The frequency levels of your sensory mechanism are active.Denial, acceptance, ignorin, interiority, exteriority overlappin, knittin et cetera. How can you deny the fact that you are the product of eventuality? Neither you could have denied the past nor can you deny the present same 4 the future, nobody can, ma dear. haha..
    Let’s we talk on mind. Thought, imaginations are the key of our mind. Thoughts refer to ideation. Imagination lays its eggs in thalamus in the brain, which one is shaped by its experiences, information. Another part of mind is consciousness, it occurs in pineal gland. There is no more consciousness than P-consciousness & A-consciousness. Is there anythin about mind more than physicalism? Emotion is subject of temperament, personality; mood, disposition etc & those reciprocal influences are explainable. I hope you have understood what I wanted to mean ma dear. We need courage, confidence to become absorbent or accommodative. You have to facilitate your physical,social, educational, economical network. This is empowerment, haha.
    Haha primarily love is for matin,for a bond to overcome loneliness & to reinforce natural social instincts, to share by helpin in order to reduce stresses. Haha auto immune system.
    love is a restless divine passion for an unattainable ideal.it is sacred and ethereal-an ideal never to be attained.sometimes it is an reverent worship for an object beyond reach,a yearning by its nature incapable of fulfillment,a self-destructive passion like that of night for morning

    • Mehek

      May 5, 2014

      Thank you for your highly descriptive and explanatory version of a simple word – LOVE. Long distance relationships ‘DO’ work. If you say LDRs don’t work, I can show you examples of ‘marriages’ not working, or traditional relationships falling flat on the name of trust and patience. It all depends upon the couple who are in a relationship, whether they have the will to wait, and continue, or they’re too weak and give up easily. Long distance relationships were the ones which were prevalent in Victorian era, and they were tougher ones as in that time the means of communication weren’t as profound and fast. Women would wait for their men for years, and the soldiers in battlefield would send messages to their waiting wives via pigeons or ravens. Those were also the relationships that worked. Talking about infidelity, then there are cases of infidelity in marriages nowadays, where a couple share a house, a room and even a bed, and still the partner feels a need to step outside in search of love. Long distance relationships are ‘not’ to be blamed for breaking people’s hearts because ultimately its the decision, willpower and strength of two people and the bond and love they feel for each other, that makes or breaks a relationship. Talking about scientific explanations and bio-medical references you stated, they’re alien to me as I’m from the field of engineering, for me, love is like a intra-network of two computers bound by user datagram protocol instead of a transmission control protocol. Having connection-less, unbound and free transmission without error check or redundancy check, ensuring trust and still the messages being delivered fully, without any flaw, and in the same contiguous line from sender to receiver, depicting the wholesome relationship between the partners.

      You can give as many complex definitions as you wish to, but in reality, nothing can define the word – LOVE – more than a newborn baby who is slipped into arms of his anticipated father after hours of wait – more than a girl who has been waiting to see his soldier-lover since one year – more than a boy who met his mother after she has been cured of her sickness – more than a friend who is waiting on college’s old tea-stall to meet his best-friend after a decade – more than a father who is ready to send his daughter off to a stranger’s home after raising her up with everything he ever had…

      Nothing can define love, more than the moments which become memories in the back of our mind and generate some abc chemical reaction in some xyz part of brain. It’s not the formulas we remember at the end, it’s the moments of happiness and joy we shared.

      Thank you!

  • Varsha

    May 9, 2014

    Loved this article.. I am in LDR and am quite happy.. Though he is in italy still he loves me and always will be with me.. This arrticle really made me feel that i’ll be able to handle this relation though everywhere we get to kno only the thorny side of LDR.. Next year we will be meeting till then hope so everything goes well thanks for the points defintly will keep it in mind..

    • Mehek

      May 9, 2014

      That’s Amazing Barsha 🙂 I’m glad I could be of some help. All the best for your future and life ahead, take care 🙂

  • Ruchi

    May 30, 2014

    Well u see.. M in a long distance relationship since 4 years and 4 months now. He’s having his final graduation exams. I knw doing CA is a tough job. So, m being understanding and giving him time to study at the cost of our phone calls. But I’m afraid that this communication gap from 3 months may break us apart sooner or later. Nw I hv to choose btwn having communication or being understanding. Pls help.

    • Mehek

      June 1, 2014

      Dear Ruchi, there can be n-number of situations and circumstances. I request you to please be specific and clear, it would be better if you mail me the details at – [email protected] – so I can look deeper into the matter 🙂

  • Happy Fathers Day 2014 Poems

    June 11, 2014

    We’re a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community.
    Your website offered us with valuable info to work on. You’ve done an impressive job and our entire community will
    be grateful to you.

    • Mehek

      June 12, 2014

      Thank you 🙂

  • Radhika Mantri

    June 18, 2014

    Hey…i met a guy named ajay two months before. He is doing job in amritsar n is a punjabi.m in hyderabad currently. We met on facebook through my frnd as my friend is in relationship with ajay’s brother. talking wise he is nice…but a suspicious character…i asked ajay 100 times about his gf he said he is not having presently but in past he had who left him.but ajay’s brother is saying both d things..today he say ajay is not having gf tomorrow by taking swear he say ajay is having gf….i dont know what to do?? How to find out the truth??? Kindly help me
    Thank u

    • Mehek

      June 18, 2014

      Dear Radhika, first of all a long distance relationship with an unknown person is always dangerous. You can’t trust anyone fully in such a case. There’s no real way in finding or confirming if he has a girlfriend or not, you can only ‘trust’ him with it. Anyone can hide it as neatly as possible, even if you catch him red handed, he might tell you she’s his friend, how can you distrust him there? The only way of finding out whether he has a girlfriend or not is if ‘he’ himself confesses it to you, or you trust him to the core that you believe him with his current relationship status.

      Hope it helps. Regards
      Mehek

  • CARE

    July 14, 2014

    I’ve been in a long distance relationship before, we reach 3 years being in a relationship. He is in Denmark and I was base in the Philippines, but suddenly one day I found that he cheat, he is in a relationship with other girl. We broke Up! But at that time I never felt confusion why he do that because as what they have said “it’s man Nature.” and the thought that I keep on my mind and makes me feel strong as always in those past relationship is that “if God Give You a Gift, don’t hold it so tight because when the time come that he will get it to you, you will never get hurt too much”.. 🙂
    And now again for the second time I am in a long Distance Relationship, we are in a different Country. I am proud to say that I am his first Girlfriend.
    Never come in my mind that LDR will Never last, I maybe failed with my first try but that’s not enough to define LDR will never last. Because I believed it depends the both of the two of you on how you handle your relationship, on how you both handle problems and etc. and the past relationship and present has different story.

    If you are really contented with the way things are going on with that Long Distance Relationship, you won’t feel worry with your partner or in the situation that separate the both of you.

    Just Trust, Patient and Be Strong always. 🙂

    Now Iám Happy because Iam contented. 🙂

    Crisa Ann and Kevin james.

    • Mehek

      July 15, 2014

      Hey Crisa Ann, this comment made me smile and I’m really happy for you! A relationship is always about your own happiness, because if you aren’t happy, how can you keep someone else happy? If you’re not getting your happiness, there’s no point in continuing the relationship. Sometimes, a breakup makes us realize whatt we were really missing in our life, and I’m glad you moved on, unlike other girls who depress themselves and develop suicidal tendencies.

      God bless you and your beau, have a happy, joyous life ahead! 🙂

  • radhika

    July 23, 2014

    hii mehak i find ur article very interesting nd true .i m in a LDR from the past 6 and half years but now he dont want that i m on phn call much time

    • Mehek

      July 24, 2014

      Thank you Radhika, I’m glad you liked the article. If he doesn’t spend much time on phone, find some other ways to keep in touch, send occasional texts, mails, voice messages, but don’t lose contact. Staying in touch is the most important thing in a LDR or the relationship can suffer…

  • Alou

    April 26, 2015

    Hi,i hope you can still read my msg.I am on my first ldr.We met online last October and met 3 times,the 3rd time,we both mutually agreed on exclusivity,our 4th meeting is 5day holiday he arranged. Right now though,I think he is changing a bit, we havent seen each other for almost 2 months.Our last meet is the holiday last march,what i have been noticing is the delay in whatsapp messages. I got a feeling he is chatting with someone differently meaning new interest.Our time of the day to chat is wee hours on his timezone and before he dont have delay in msgs but now. I would send a msg he is online but the tick would be blue after one or two minutes which means he is switching windows.I know i cant control him and only thing i can control are my actions,i dont wanna assume and i want help in killing this uncertainty

    • Mehek

      April 26, 2015

      Hey Alou,

      This is a very common feeling that we get. It’s important to understand that sometimes, the other person can be busy! It’s not always the case that he is losing interest in you. I would suggest you to be positive, and plan for your next trip! Shun the negative thoughts and with all the positive and new-hopes, pack your bags to spend a romantic time with your better half. Sometimes, we need personal space, and sometimes the relationship can get too clingy or feel like merely a duty and nothing more. Maybe he’s feeling the same, maybe he’s just bored of it for the time being. However, it doesn’t mean that he’s losing interest in ‘you’. It’s just the relationship sometimes that makes the person run away from everything. These feelings will ward off the moment he’ll see your face. I’d suggest you to be happy, spend a good time together without discussing ‘why’ he was delaying you replies on Whatsapp! 🙂

      I hope it helped.

      Regards,
      Mehek

  • Vijay Srivastava

    April 17, 2018

    Awesome article! i love that 🙂

    • Mehek

      April 20, 2018

      Thanks!