It’s been months I didn’t write any blog post. The work, college and friends kept me so busy that I had no time for the blog, but in the meantime, I realized many things, some of which I’m going to compile up here, in this post.
The title may have intrigued many of you and lured you to read more. ‘Find The Real You!’ sounds so inspirational and self-helping, isn’t it? You’re right. Many times, we are lost in external world so badly that we forget who we are inside, and what actually we desire. Our own needs and requirements are many times, overshadowed by people who matter, and even by those who don’t. For instance, you want to eat a particular flavour of ice-cream, but your girlfriend wants another flavour and you have limited money, what will you do? Obviously, you will buy her choice of flavour and share the treat with her. This simple example reflects our time. We usually share important phases of our valuable time, with many people around us, and make so many sacrifices, some of which are fruitful in the end, and some of which are futile. And many times over, we end up taking certain decisions too, which in the end, affect us the most.
I met a long lost friend today, after 2.5 years. We had a bitter argument in 2011 and since then, we were out of touch. Since that time, many misunderstandings crept up and we thought we’d never be able to rebuild that old bond again, and so, we never tried. I waited for her to initiate a conversation, and she waited for me, but in the end, the mutual wait did no good, rather wasted a lot of time, which otherwise could have been spent in a better way. After meeting her today (23rd February, 2014) I realized that nothing changed much between us since July 2011. We both grew mature and older (spare the wrinkles and fine lines and white hair part!), but we both longed for each other, and that is what matters the most.
I realized that I never knew the ‘real’ me. I was always lured into many volatile decisions by people around me, and I took wrong path so many times, and it led me where I stand today. I don’t regret the decisions I took, but I surely think that my entire life would have been different, had I followed up another course. But then, that’s life! You learn so many things and you let go of so many things. It’s all a part of life, because at the end, everything is a lesson well learnt. I also took this self-examination today and analysed my life upside down by upending the hourglass. There was a time when my friends mattered to me the most (they still matter, and no, I’m not a self-obsessed, narcissist bitch now!) but they matter comparatively less than my own self. I do take their advice, even today, but then I ask myself too, instead of blindly following what they say. Earlier, my decisions were manipulated, modified and carved majorly by people around me, which forced me to take many decisions that I shouldn’t have taken back then. But today, when I look back, I smile at that old time, because it taught me and it brought me face to face with my flaws. It also taught me who actually cares for me, and who just wants fulfilment of his personal necessitate.
Nobody is perfect and yes, we all have flaws! If you’re in a friendship, or a relationship, it’s always mutual, and if you’re broken, it’s mutual too. Every relation is like a coin, and the two sides are the two people in a relationship. If you’re happy, it’s because both of you are making efforts to stay in it, and if you’re not happy, it means, one of you has lost hope, and stopped trying. The same thing happened with us, but in our case, both of us lost hope and stopped trying. We just waited for the other person to approach, blind in our ego and forgetting the time we spent with each other.
Today, I found the real me, and I asked myself what I want, ignoring all the other people who would still want me to stay away from ‘xyz’ person, or talk to some ‘abc’ person. Today I followed the path carved by my own heart and reached a blissful oblivion. It was pure satisfaction that I gained, when I knew that ‘Yes – this is what I actually want, and no, I’m not following someone else’s choice!’
‘People will speak, no matter what you do!’ then why not, do what gives ‘you’ happiness, instead of thinking about how ‘someone-who-can’t-rule-my-life’ would react? Nobody can force you to do anything, unless you yourself want to do it, then why are you allowing yourself to be ruled by a third person, who won’t matter to you in future? Why can’t you just do what you want to do, and be happy instead?
Some girls would send me relationship problems, saying that she’s from a different caste than the boy, and that her parents won’t agree for the guy. Now, you are the one who has to spend a life with that guy and not your entire family. You are the one who needs a life partner, and not your parents, then why can’t you make them understand that it’s your life in the end? If you can’t fight for your relationship today, how else do you expect to face the bigger problems in your life in future? Fighting for what you love, makes you a keeper and no matter what happens in the end, the inner feeling of following your own heart, will definitely make you happy someday. At least you won’t feel burdened that you’re living a life that someone else chose for you, rather you’d be content that you are living a life that you chose for your own self.
It’s very important to find the ‘real you’, because what matters in the end, is your own happiness. If you are not happy, you can’t keep anyone around you happy, no matter how hard you try. You can pretend for few hours, few days, and let’s say a few weeks too, but you can’t pretend for an entire lifetime! You’ll be fed up one day or the other for the kind of life you have been living, and at that moment, you’ll be trapped. Why? Because if you didn’t fight for it in the beginning, you won’t have a chance to fight for it later. You’ll have no choice, but to break the walls and run away, or simply end it all for your own good.
Change the people around you if they’re demoralizing you and filling you with negativity. Remember, a hopeless and a pestered friend is as good as a dead man. He himself is going to the ground, and will take you with him too, if you don’t wake up in the right time. It’s your life, buddy see what you’re doing with it?
It’s necessary that you ask yourself today, whether you are truly happy or not? If not, then what is it that you want, or what is it that you lack? And how can you be happy? You’ll find all answers within you…
Thanks for the Inspiration – Shivangi Sood.
[rb_button style=”headed” decoration=”arrow” color=”dark” link=”http://www.mehek.in/give-me-a-break/” target=”_blank” label=”Longing for a Break From Sticky Relationship? Click here!”] [/rb_button]