‘Feminism’ – this word is more often heard nowadays aliased with female empowerment, women-rights, equal powers, end of male-chauvinism and what not! But what actually is feminism, and what it has become over time – is what I will shed some light on, in this article.

This article is entirely my perception about feminism and how I believe it should be taken and practiced. I am a female. Someone who believes strongly in equality but not in ‘injustice’. Being a female, and being born into India, I know how pitiful, the situation of my community is. I understand how sometimes the gruesome rape cases just make us so angry that we want to kill every man on this planet just for being a man – but let’s ignore the ‘angry’ side for a while and focus on reality. Females go through a lot in their lifetime, especially in India where even wearing shorts and skirts is something daring when you have to travel into a crowded marketplace especially in North Indian streets! I’ve been to Mumbai, but the scenario there is contrasting. Men don’t stare with those lustful eyes as they stare at us in Delhi or Himachal or particularly in Harayana.

Talking about Feminism now – what exactly it originated as, and what it has become over time! Feminism, as the term implies, states equality of women and termination of gender-biased decisions. Truest form of Feminism simply states – equality. In no way, Feminism promotes injustice to men, domination over men, but that has been happening under the name of Feminism! Deepika Padukone’s controversial ‘My Choice’ video was wrong in every sense, and being a female, I strongly despise a lot of stuff she said in that video. For instance – cheating on your man, going for casual sex, having temporary flings over a serious marriage, neglecting your man’s happiness for the sake of your one-night party, everything is plain-wrong.

Relationships are all about sacrifice and not being selfish. Even a man can earn and not give a penny to the woman – It’s his choice! But if a man can be selfless and contributes in the household expenses, so has to be a woman. A relationship or a marriage, works both ways. I do not, in any case, advocate the promiscuous behavior! It hurts to say this word, but some of my female counterparts in the world today, deserve that. Female equality is one thing, but surrendering your own body, in the name of ‘feminism’ is stupidity! It’s not liberty to let your body be used by multiple men in the name of feminism – it’s simply a disgrace that you can’t love your body and you can’t respect it enough to keep it sacred for one man! The thoughts might be old-school and many ladies might say if ‘he’ can do it, so can I. Agreed. But once you are in a relationship, your liberty ends and so does your freedom of ticketing out your body!

Talking about the society now – I never promote a life according to the regulations and standards set by the society. But what’s the use of such a life either, where your boyfriend/husband is being cheated upon by you? Where you can’t keep the man in your life happy? Where you argue and fight with him if he asks you to dress decently? If you showcase your body in the name of freedom of dressing – that’s not feminism! Yes, you have the right to wear anything, but would you wear a bikini to a movie? Would you go naked in a mall in the name of freedom-of-dressing? Ask yourself – what if a man comes to shopping completely naked. Won’t he be called a ‘pervert’? Then don’t be hurt if people call you names that you don’t want to listen! Dress decently. It doesn’t mean you have to dress up in a fully-black hijab, it means a dressing which is decent, a dress which you wont’t mind your mother or dearest little sister to wear!

That’s right, women! We might not be careful for ourselves, but we all are protective for our little sisters. We don’t want them to dress loosely, neither do we want them to be used by men, and the same rules should be applied to us too!

Some girls have casual relationships. They have unsafe sex with almost anybody and end up being pregnant or diseased. I guess they have forgotten, that no matter how much you promote freedom of sharing your body in the name of Feminism, it’s only ‘YOU’ who will end up pregnant, and not your male-partner! You are a female and your body is different from your so-called-boyfriends. If you don’t want to be in a serious relationship, then don’t ruin your body either. It’s only your body that will be damaged and scarred at the end, and it’s only you who will on later stage, have complications when you will really want a baby! And even if you don’t want a baby in your life, even if you don’t want to marry, at least don’t ruin your body enough to make it incapable of hosting a baby ever in life? I’m not saying marrying is important or having a baby is important either. What’s important is your notion of your body, of how you respect it and how you let other people view it.

Now comes the problem of drinking and smoking that’s wide-spread in today’s young-community, including young-females! Boys also drink and smoke, but today in this article, I will talk only about females. Drink, but drink like a lady, not like a tanker! There’s nothing wrong in being in your limits, if you drink responsibly and enjoy the evening. Both male and female bodies are designed differently, we have different functions, different organs and obviously different requirements. Alcohol is strictly prohibited in pregnancy, and there’s a reason for it too. Our ovaries, womb and reproductive system is not designed to absorb alcohol and prevent it from reaching the baby. And alcohol for a baby in the womb is like poison! You don’t want to suffer a miscarriage, do you?

I don’t drink, and many of my friends do. They force me to gulp a shot, and say that there’s nothing wrong in it, but I don’t feel like drinking. I have my reasons. No, I don’t feel great or a saint for not doing it. It’s simply about self-control. I’m not saying drinking is wrong either, but drinking heavily and irresponsibly, leading to an organ-damage is completely-wrong!

If a woman says she wants to smoke and drink as much as she wants, because she’s a feminist? She’s 100% wrong! Feminism in no way supports unsafe sex, drinking or smoking. It supports equality in all the right things. If a man rapes a woman, it doesn’t mean that women should also start raping men in the name of feminism. It’s plain stupidity! We need to evict criminals, and not create anymore in the name of feminism or masculism or whatever!

Clubbing, partying, wearing bikinis or going out nude – that’s not feminism! Drinking, smoking, drugging yourself to the point of death – that’s not feminism! Then what is Feminism exactly? 

Feminism is simply being a female with equal rights of a male. You ‘CAN’ do something, does not necessarily mean that you ‘HAVE’ to do it in order to prove that you are equal. A female is the one who has to borne children. She is the one who has to be pregnant for nine months with a child inside her body, and not a man. She is the one who has to push a baby into this world by bearing extreme levels of pain. She is the one who has to take care of her baby mentally and physically, till he is grown up enough to be handed over to anyone in the family. A mother of a new-born cannot say right after delivery – “Tonight, I’m going to party and drink! Please keep my baby for two days…” That’s not feminism!

After drinking and smoking, comes the ‘false-accusations’. Many women who have taken illicit advantage of women-rights granted to them, have accused men of the crimes they did not commit. Many men, who are booked under such laws, have lost faith and hope from our judiciary. We live in a society together. Both men and women are equally responsible for running a family as well as a country. Being a woman is challenging – agreed. But only for the sake of revenge or personal benefit, framing a man falsely, is also a crime! But sadly, we don’t have any strict laws for such women. Even if they’re proved wrong, they are bailed out easily. Women have accused men of false rape-cases, false molestation and sexual harassment cases, and false dowry cases.

Women also have the right to demand alimony after a divorce, where it’s both the man and the woman, who suffer equally. If the woman is totally dependent upon her ex-husband, then she can claim alimony, but if she’s earning well, or if earning more than the man, the rights should be reversed too – that’s Feminism! The woman should rather give alimony to the man if the man is jobless and unemployed. But alas, we don’t have such a revision in our constitution till now. And sadly, no ‘fake-feminist’ will ever talk about it either! They just want undue advantages, rights granted to women, and an injustice to men – which is not how a society should function.

Being a woman – I am writing all this, not because I hate being a woman, but because I want a smoothly functioning and completely justified society! I love being a woman and I’m glad I’m born a female, but I want my other female-friends to understand the responsibility we have as females, and the life we should live as a girl-child. We should spread – education, knowledge, inspiration and not smoking or drinking or irresponsible and unsafe sex! We should make our younger sisters aware of the rights and wrongs, and not support them in the ill-habits that our society is promoting in the name of Feminism.

In one more decade, most of the females who are in their mid-twenties now, will be mothers. They will have responsibility of a family, a husband and kids. They can’t be foolish today! Mid-twenties is an age to experiment, explore, learn and not to spoil yourself rotten. You have to prevent your kids from being damaged, and how will you do that if you can’t even handle yourself?

Think About It…

Join the Discussion

*required fields
[Your Email will not be published.]

  Comments (7)

  • kajal

    August 11, 2015

    I totally agree with every word you have written..and I am glad that you did it..people or to be precise a girl should understand the difference between inequality and feminism.. If they don’t than what will be the difference left between us and the male who are dominating us for the whole life ..!!!

    • Mehek

      August 12, 2015

      Thanks Kajal 🙂

  • Swatantra Singh

    August 12, 2015

    Superb. …..u have really written…something. very crucial…I appreciate u…..
    Most of the woman’s use their faminism for granted. …ur thought would somehow bind them to think…..

    • Mehek

      August 12, 2015

      Thanks Swatantra! 🙂

  • Akshaya

    July 9, 2016

    Wonderfully written….really appreciate u

  • R. Dada

    August 28, 2017

    I like your article you can quote from it , it sounds utopia but it is positive thinking.
    Freedom is not sharing your body, that’s concubinage.
    Female equality is one thing, but surrendering your own body, in the name of ‘feminism’ is Something else!
    Relation should be Equal, Caring & Mutual Sacrifice & Giving; when love’s relation married or not recedes, – even when having small or adult children- separation is better for both parties. marriage is a prison of love they say, but when it stinks freedom is a breath &marvelous.
    Life needs Two to live, never more than one man one woman at a time that’s peace of body & soul.!
    Regards, Reda (I am a Male)

    • Mehek

      August 30, 2017

      Thanks Reda… 🙂 I understand what you said, but some of the elements in the article were stated with a tinge of sarcasm. Hope you understand that. Good day!